3am and my soul obstinate
Jumps out of a nightmare,
With a tough raspy voice
And a dark shrewd face,
I called onto God.
Hope carried to gleaming heights
And then dropped to tatters,
Gruesomely attached to reality,
Salty waters flowed down my cheeks,
Mirred with betrayal and hatred.

5am and my heart beats a-flutter
Churning and twisted with stabbings
I’ve cried it all out
Yet still numbness does not come
I loathe that it’s my body, my spirit
That takes this beating
I’ve known people worse,
They surely were readier than I was
For this pain, it can’t have been for me.

The tears don’t seem to know hope,
Trenches of flow show on my face,
I should have been prepared,
For it wasn’t a nightmare I had
But reality flashing beams of lightning in my face,
Crude and uncouth reality is,
A perfect comfort zone marauded
And these tears shall not stop flowing

And my heart does not stop beating
A staccato drum inside my body
Playing the melody of a fighting spirit
Ailing is not a state I’ll be in for long
But will my physical self be strong enough?
Do I have the strength to hold me together?
My will is weak, my soul longing
This worldly pain could be nothing
To compare to the battle that
Goes on, and on, and on inside.

See this Shawn keeps praising the wrong people. Poetry knows no self-modesty. Mister, clap for yourself!

#UgBlogWeek

It’s all a game of waiting
With bated breath or anxious gulps
The constant remains; it’s lurking
And yet we know where it will arise
Like the inevitable eclipse,
It will come and we will know
Like a bright shadow, you’ll see it
The rising will be upon us
Like the wrath, the fury
Of an old dragon tickled in it’s sleep

It’s the least of our worries
In plain sight it hides,
Camouflaged by reality and dreams
It will sweep across like a crazy sea tide
We shall stumble and fall,
When the rising is upon us
With a strength that can’t be ignored.

With the calmness of inevitability
We’ll take it on, arms raised
Not in a fight, don’t get me wrong
We’ll let it pass, this rising tide
For it’s not ours to halt nor yours to steer
The rising is a retaliation long overdue
Like a lioness stung on a hot afternoon
You know you’re going to get it
It’s coming.
This freestyle and many more for #UgBlogWeek will be written by #nkima and #shawn. Thank you, Shawn, as always!

My days of carefree living and gaiety

Effortless actions and thoughtlessness

My days of randomness and spontaneity

Switching it up with acts of wantonness

When free-spirit meant creativity

And aloof didn’t equal to insensitivity

Here are my days of worrying and planning

Days for marrying and maybe ranting

Gone are my days of youth, I reckon.

#nkima

Over there, yes those ones

The white women taking a picture

Of the falls, merry and all

Yes, they made me come here

Dragged me, to be honest

I still don’t know how to feel

Embarrassed or indifferent

That I know less of my land

Than the foreigners, the visitors

That I don’t marvel in the beauty

God-given and a-plenty

That I take it for granted

My ignorance, my disregard

I still don’t know how to feel

But I’m here, glad I came

And maybe, maybe just one day

I’ll be the one showing our beauty

To other white ones, and their kin.

#nkima

I itch to weave lyric of my emotions

But I’m entangled in your canny trap

Interwoven with your body – in embrace

Tied up with the strings of your words

Pinned down – immotile by thine actions

And promises of sweet lusty love.

#nkima

With you

It’s a roller-coaster

And a smooth drive

Blended into one

A whirlwind of emotions

Yet there’s a calmness

Enshrouded within

I have nought to do

But embrace

The feels and the anticipation

Entertaining the devious thoughts

That only you engage me in

It’s a master class for mind-play

What you conduct

Maybe it’d be entertaining to watch

If I wasn’t clinging like ivy

To the lead role.

#nkima

Luck might be free baby,

Love isn’t.

Comes with its costs and pains honey

It’s like that proverbial moth

Always seeking the threshold of fiery dangers

There’s something to say about living on the edge,

The thrill of not knowing

What you’ll be experiencing the next minute.

Euphoria and Despair must be

Two sides of a god-forsaken sharp blade

Set sail with care lover mine,

Even I can’t promise a safe passing

Let alone landing, in this lagoon of emotion

It’s too shallow for one to throw anchor carelessly.

Love lasts but on a whim

Casually assured today to earnest skepticism the next.

#nkima

 

Sometimes I wake up to a cold heart

A lonely soul

As time flies

I listen to the sweet and serene cry of nature,

The songs of birds in love,

As I lay alone in my bed.

Memories of you flirt with my soul

Thinking of you crashes my mind

I am in the state of sweet surrender,

I am a prisoner held captive by your love,

Your smile, your laugh, your touch,

Please take me home.

Take me to where your heart finds rest,

Take me as I am, a drunkard of emotion and feelings.

Let me be that one,

The one who gets to greet you err morning

And kiss you err night,

The one you get to call lover-boy,

For I am crazy when I’m with you,

And I want to stay that way.

 

But boy will he, will he every passing day

Be the one to fill that role,

Be the one that wants me to call him these names

Will you give in to my attentions, teases and endearments

That days past I’ve been already calling you in my head

I want to wake up to your touch

Go through hours and nights knowing

Most of your smiles

Are mine and mine alone

Boy, do I wanna call you lover boy, baby, bae

All those cliché things we laughed at

During all those late-night conversations 

When we were nothing more than friends

Now that we’re trying to be something more 

Oh yes everyone finds our attempts and struggles cray

But you get it, you get me

Maybe because it’s a kind of “us” typa life now

I think of you when there’s something new to tell,

To laugh at, to get depressed over

I think of you when there’s nothing left to think

So maybe there’s nothing to question on this

Maybe there’s no what ifs and what nots on this page of our lives

Let’s just grab our scrolls, turn the leaf over and have you writing with me

 

Aww but the things you do unto me,

I can swear you render me speechless,

I have crafted words just for you,

Master of my art just to please you.

And since you feel the same way about me,

I will make no promises for they can be broken

I will make a vow,

Not even death will do us part.

But this, I want to do when on one knee,

Looking into those golden beautiful eyes,

I want to see your colour fade when I pop the ring,

I want to see the smile on your face form,

A developing blush and acceptable smirk.

As I give you the ring around which my heart is wound.

Then, I will take you places,

As you call me those cliché things we laughed about,

I will call you bae, angel, my cupcake.

Through hours, I intend to smile at all your smiles,

I look forward to sleepless nights and endless tales,

Crazy laughs and many memories,

And such will be us,

Crazy as we are, nothing can hold us now,

Only if you say the word.

 

And if by word you refer to the “yes”,

Then darling that I’ve already said

Countless, inconceivable times I have acquiesced

My body, my soul, my mind especially 

All are yours, for you to please 

To take to places imaginary and real

To swing through dances for us and for the world to see

A vow, we could write and recite

But our hearts, that’s where our promises are written

In ink indelible for us to read

On our fingertips and on our lips

Words tattooed for our eyes only

For such are phrases that only we crave

And for that, I’m ready 

Take upon it as you see fit

For memories are already in progress,

And words, well words outspoken are only for formality.

This lovely freestyle was written by #nkima and #shawn. Thank you Shawn for being inspiration!

I Never Wrote A Sonnet

Not for him, nor for you

Not for my dreams, nor my realities

Not for thrills, nor for passion

I Never Wrote A Sonnet

To be my voice, To tell my story

For my hands still too quick

At the thought of penning my fancies

I Never Wrote A Sonnet

But I’ve sung many-a-sonnet

Of Life, Of Love, Of Nostalgia

I’ve uncovered many – complex and varied

That resonate and echo with me, and my own

And Yet Still I Never Wrote A Sonnet

But maybe one day, I will.

#nkima

The best is yet to come

Today is only a step to that

Except this has got me wishing

For once that I could stay 

Scheming in the present

Relish in the feelings and the actions 

For these I can control

The future though

That’s got me anxious

Time does always seem to get 

The best and worst of me

This instance, it’s got me for certain 

Is it defence to fight for what I have?

Or an offence to strife for what I want?

For now tied down and unable to let go

I’ll take my current self-indulgence

It’ll be my future stepping stone

Whichever ways it goes

If yielding I cannot do

Then lesson learnt or good judgement

It will be.

#nkima