I Never Wrote A Sonnet

Not for him, nor for you

Not for my dreams, nor my realities

Not for thrills, nor for passion

I Never Wrote A Sonnet

To be my voice, To tell my story

For my hands still too quick

At the thought of penning my fancies

I Never Wrote A Sonnet

But I’ve sung many-a-sonnet

Of Life, Of Love, Of Nostalgia

I’ve uncovered many – complex and varied

That resonate and echo with me, and my own

And Yet Still I Never Wrote A Sonnet

But maybe one day, I will.

#nkima

The best is yet to come

Today is only a step to that

Except this has got me wishing

For once that I could stay 

Scheming in the present

Relish in the feelings and the actions 

For these I can control

The future though

That’s got me anxious

Time does always seem to get 

The best and worst of me

This instance, it’s got me for certain 

Is it defence to fight for what I have?

Or an offence to strife for what I want?

For now tied down and unable to let go

I’ll take my current self-indulgence

It’ll be my future stepping stone

Whichever ways it goes

If yielding I cannot do

Then lesson learnt or good judgement

It will be.

#nkima

Gone to soon

Maybe

Gone for me

Perhaps

My otherworldly phantom

Always

Hovering in thoughts unaired

Forever

Loved Feared Worshipped

You are eternity.

#nkima

(yes you can read this from the bottom up too)

Everyone’s always rewinding

Reversing…and going further back

Trying to relive moments

That should only now be a memory

Maybe not forgotten

But maybe, just maybe

Maybe not a yearning

 

I’m always forwarding

Looking for ways it’s going to be

Different yet the same

Tomorrow, the day after

The next hour still

Any instance that’s not lived yet

Is a time for a’planning

 

Nobody’s only playing

For sure

Looking back on yesterday’s transgressions

Counting on tomorrow’s failures

We are

Not looking for the pause button

Only waiting for that inevitable stop to end it all.

#nkima

And I’m back to finish my descriptions of the trio. This time I will throw glorious light on my amazing personality. Yep, you read that right! I, Jeroline will use prose to paint a wonderfully truthful description of myself.

But, maybe if you know her just a little, you’ll already know by now that it’s not thing Jeroline would do. Talk about herself in more detail than the usual online bio requires? Nah. Maybe Angela, definitely not Jeroline. So, because Jeroline failed to complete her assigned task and introduce the three of us, in full detail, we decided to do it for her. Yes, we work that well together that we finish each other’s assignments. And because it’s Jeroline, it is only fitting that she gets the full (not spa) treatment.

Our relationship, the three of us, has very interesting dynamics. Angela is the go-getter. She is always pushing us to be better than our best. She follows her dreams however silly they may be. I am well me. I’m the awkward one. Jeroline though is the factor that keeps all of us sane.

When I think of the first encounter the three of us together, I remember three thirteen year old girls arguing on the first day of the school year over a seat. It left two girls in tears and two mothers consoling their daughters with words that proved that momma always knows best. And the third girl? Well let’s say she had selective amnesia because till this day Angela doesn’t (fully) remember the events of that day.

A relationship that began with tears changed so dramatically. That thirteen year old I apparently made cry has been one of the best things that ever happened to my life. Of course there have been more tears in the course of these 8 years but all the other situations it was either of us wiping them off each other’s cheeks.

Jeroline is one of those people that goes by many names, in many circles. She, somehow and still mysteriously to me, finds something good in everyone. If it’s hidden, she has the patience to dig for it. And if she fails to find anything she likes about you (yes, it’s happened), you’d be the last one to know! She’s so courteous, so charming, so totally likeable that she grows on you until there’s no way you could imagine never having been friends with her. She’s like an old soul or friend-in-a-previous-life, but for everyone! The best part about this is that she does it unconsciously, like it comes as natural as sneezing to her. (Yes, you’re always sneezing J!) Jeroline to me is love manifested. From her, I learnt to let go (kinda) and let the people that I love know that I love them. I wouldn’t want to ever lose someone I love and not have them know that I did. Because it’s not so often that you get to feel like you’d be there for someone through whatever hook, crook and cranny that exists on earth. It’s not everyday that you get someone tell you that they’d do the same for you. You can suspect it, but there’s something in knowing for sure. I personally like to know for sure because I believe in the conviction of the words we have the courage to utter. (Sidenote: Jeroline believes in the conviction of the written word, so she writes it out.) We are as different and as similar as Yin and Yang. In almost everything! And we’d definitely need more than a blog with finite storage space limitations to tell you all of them. But you know what all that is, in total? Balance. Jeroline is my balance. And God knows I’m grateful.

The thing about Jeroline is that you just have to love her. God put her on this earth to show love. Her heart is so big and it amazes me how she can have so many friends and be so nice to so many people. And in the words of the ever amazing Ed Sheeran ‘loving can hurt’ and boy do we all know this! The difference is that she just keeps on loving and it’s one of the most endearing things about her.

I fancy myself as a strong person. I do not break down to tears just anywhere. I might freak out like crazy when things don’t go exactly as planned but when I’m sad…no I’ll not let you see that. Jeroline is the breaking point for me. When she gets into the picture I usually figure it’s no point being strong for me as there is someone to do that now. If we each had a pound for the number of times Jero offered her hand out for me to hold on to and I ended up holding on too tight….too afraid to let my source of strength go we’d be Ugandan millionaires. 😉

Beautiful doesn’t begin to describe this girl. And I’m honestly not exaggerating. Okay maybe I am but just a little. She like everyone has a few off days but her off days are equivalent to my ‘I’ve killed it days’. (This is when Angela should interject and say that it’s not true at all, that I actually have quite a bunch of good days – you know what they say about birds of a feather T, I’m definitely getting my present-day beauty from osmosis through y’all!!). So you don’t really want to know what she looks like when Jero kills it….walking goddess. You want proof? Follow my instagram account I have 25 too many photos of her.

I haven’t met anyone else who actually doesn’t mind taking a gazillion selfies with me and doesn’t think me vain. Wait, there’s Angela but she’s not around. But Jero and I use photos as therapy. Like “Wait you’re sad? Lets take selfies!” and just like that an anatomy paper ceases to be an issue. I know that as long as I live and I’m still friends with this girl I’ll not never need a shrink!! This girl listens and doesn’t judge. Like I said when God was making her He knew she was a gift to this world.

So every day as I count my blessings I never miss to count Jero and I always remember my mother telling a crying thirteen year old me that something good might come out of this situation. Like I said momma is always right.